Ladies and Gentlemen, the Rappin' Hospitalist

FEBRUARY 08, 2011
Philippa Kennealy, MD, MPH, CPCC, PCC
I love discovering entrepreneurial physicians who are doing something different, and having fun with their efforts! Author of the blog "ZDoggMD: Slightly Funnier Than Placebo," Zubin Damania MD is a rapper-hospitalist in Northern California with roots in music and stand-up comedy.

Want to stop and chuckle for a few light-hearted moments?

For those of you who want to sing along, here are the lyrics:

It’s the Hard Doc’s Life for us
Hospital Doc’s Life for us
Specialists, they got it made
We do the work while they get paid
It’s the Hard Doc’s Life
From standing on the unit roundin’
To learning some of the thickest charts a doc has ever seen
and hearing some of the sickest hearts a doc has ever heard
Do the weekend, working nights and, all the shifts between
You know me well from Pull & Pray and the Ulcer Rap
Still I take crap from insurance and the housestaff
Eff that

To PCPs treatin’ sick folks
Mad props
While the consultant’s tellin’ dick jokes
That flop

I fill out paperwork all day long
No doubt
Then nurses tell me that I did it wrong
White out

See 20 patients but get paid squat, uh uh
The radiologist just bought a yacht, what the?!?
Nurses be laughin’ at the ties I bought
Shop frugally and save money at Marshalls and Ross
They call a code when I come thru
Just don’t be asking me to run it, man, I got notes to do.

It’s the Hard Doc’s Life for us
Orthopods consulting us
See their train wrecks every day
They fix the bone then walk away
It’s the Hard Doc’s Life

I flow for those gomed out; sundowning
Locked down in the Posey vest, just tryin’ to bust out
I roll with old folks, got no veins for IV pokes
Septic and found down, in stool, a Code Brown
Yellow gown itchin’, deep in debt from med school tuition
c diff, MRSA, up in my kitchen?!?

Intern’s bitchin’ bout work hours, he’s checkin’ the clock
But I’mma be on call whether I’m on call or not
We went from lukewarm to hot; fillin’ the hospitals with docs
Who practice evidence based logic like Spock
Straight talk from my homies who work in the ED
Mad luv, ‘less you’re calling ’bout another syncope
I disagree with the phony UM docs, mess with my homies
I’m like still, y’all don’t control me, s***
I like to bill, but when my patient census ain’t improving
I’m tryin’ to dispo everything moving
It’s the Hard Doc’s Life for us
Too many patients for each of us
Try to discharge, make ‘em pack
Overdo it, they bounce back
It’s the Hard Doc’s Life for us
Hospital Doc’s Life for us
Hardest job we’ll ever do
Next to cleanin’ baby poo
It’s the Hard Doc’s Life"

From "Zubin Damania MD is a physician specializing in inpatient internal medicine and a member of the multi-specialty Palo Alto Medical Foundation. He practices at Stanford University Medical Center and Washington Hospital (in Fremont, CA). His current project merges his medical background with his extensive experience teaching and performing stand-up comedy for diverse audiences. As ZDoggMD, he writes, performs, produces, and distributes satirical yet educational videos and music relating to important topics in healthcare."

Since I define physician entrepreneurship as a radical act of creativity, I think he qualifies, don't you?

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